conscious in adult contexts for this activity in my mother

English translation: aware as an adult that my mother did this

15:57 Jan 16, 2024

English language (monolingual) [PRO]
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English term or phrase: conscious in adult contexts for this activity in my mother

I find it difficult to understand the meaning of the phrase “Having been conscious in adult contexts for this activity in my mother” taken from the passage below, in which a therapist writes about his childhood and about his mother’s behavior towards him.
I thought the author was saying that he has become fully aware of his mother’s behavior once he had become an adult, but I'm not sure that's a right interpretation because of the use of “conscious...for”; if it were to mean "aware", shouldn’t it be “conscious of”?
Thank you so much for your help!
****************************************

I can see that in my family of origin I was overwhelmed and deeply shamed by the repetitive outbursts of my frustrated mother, who – unable to manage her own anxieties and also respond to the challenges of parenting a precocious child – turned to gross shaming as a solution to clear any threats to her stability and to establish her dominance. *** Having been conscious in adult contexts for this activity in my mother ***, I can still see with my mind’s eye the sneer of contempt, as in “How could you be so stupid?” or “Who would do such a thing?” or “You lousy rotten kid,” in moments when she was not her usual loving self and lapsed into self-protective modes of living.

haribert KudoZ activity Questions: 289 (none open) (1 without valid answers) (1 closed without grading) Answers: 524
Local time: 11:10

Selected answer:aware as an adult that my mother did this

Explanation:
Yes, your interpretation is correct. It's awkward writing, and it should say 'conscious of'.

Selected response from:

philgoddard
United States

Grading comment

Many many thanks, Phil, for your valuable help! A sincere thanks to all other colleagues and to Andy for his useful explanation!
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer

SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED

4 +6

aware as an adult that my mother did this

philgoddard

being aware of

Andy Hoang

Answers

20 mins confidence:

peer agreement (net): +6

aware as an adult that my mother did this

Explanation:
Yes, your interpretation is correct. It's awkward writing, and it should say 'conscious of'.

philgoddard
United States
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 123

Grading comment

Many many thanks, Phil, for your valuable help! A sincere thanks to all other colleagues and to Andy for his useful explanation!

Notes to answerer

Asker: Thank you so much, Phil, for your valuable contribution!

23 mins confidence:

being aware of

Explanation:
I think you are on the right track here.

It might be a nuanced expression, though the choice of words is a bit unconventional.

In my opinion it's a way of expressing that the awareness or consciousness of the mother's behavior occurred in the adult phase of the author's life, possibly as they reflected on their childhood experiences.

Andy Hoang
Vietnam
Local time: 16:10
Native speaker of:

Vietnamese

Notes to answerer

Asker: Thank you so much, Andy, for your useful explanation!

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conscious in adult contexts for this activity in my mother

English translation: aware as an adult that my mother did this

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English translation: aware as an adult that my mother did this

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