Grammar

Non-PRO Dutch Marketing Cosmetics, Beauty Ads

Please help. Can I leave out future tense in the second part of the sentence? - Perfecte huid: na het masker zal je huid glad en schoon zijn en je gezicht (zal) mooi en glanzend (zijn).

Can I write die instead of mask and can I write without subject?

3.
ECHTE MENSEN
ECHTE VERHALEN
HOLLYWOOD BLACK MASK werkt! 9 van de 10 krijgen een zichtbaar verbeterde huid met HOLLYWOOD BLACK MASK.

4.
DIE ONTDOET VAN MEE-ETERS EN VOORKOMT PUISTEN

Change log

Dec 31, 2017 10:11: writeaway changed "Language pair" from "English to Dutch" to "Dutch"

Dec 31, 2017 10:12: writeaway changed "Field" from "Art/Literary" to "Marketing"

Discussion

Kirsten Bodart Jan 2, 2018: With Tina I think a native proofreader/editor is badly needed here.
Tina Vonhof (X) Dec 31, 2017: Afterthought Since Dutch is not your native language, I would suggest you have it proofread by a native speaker. This kind of text really requires that.
Tina Vonhof (X) Dec 31, 2017: No and yes A text like this is intended to 'speak' to people in everyday language but there are limits and this is one of them. Replacing the name of the mask with 'het masker' is ok but replacing it with 'die' goes to far. It still needs to sound professional. In addition 'die' is wrong in the first place: het masker would be 'het'. That also applies to point (4), and in addition I would replace 'ontdoet van' with 'verwijdert'. Again, it sounds more appropriate in the context. As for the future tense, that is not likely to be used in everyday language, so using the present tense is fine.

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