оказанное внимание

English translation: attention (and prompt response)

15:31 Aug 22, 2014
Russian to English translations [Non-PRO]
Bus/Financial - Accounting / Business Letter
Russian term or phrase: оказанное внимание
Здравствуйте, помогите, пожалуйста, с переводом выражения
"оказанное внимание"
я перевела, как "attention"
Но мне кажется, что в контексте такой перевод не подходит.
Заранее спасибо.

Оригинал:

Добрый день!



Большое спасибо за оказанное внимание и быстрый ответ.

Данные, указанные вами для перевода денег правильные,
но мы на всякий случай отправляем заполненную форму (*******)и исходные данные от банка (*******)

Просьба проверить правильность заполнения формы.

Просьба сообщить e-mail о переводе денег на счет



С уважением,

*******

Перевод:

Dear Sir or Madam



Thank you very much for your attention and a prompt reply.

The information provided by you for the money transfer is right,
but just in case we send you the completed form (*******) and raw data from the bank (*******)


Please check the correctness of the filled form.


Please send an e-mail letter after sending money to our company’s account



Sincerely,

*******
Lingvosphere
Ukraine
Local time: 01:23
English translation:attention (and prompt response)
Explanation:
Your translation is correct I think.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 50 mins (2014-08-22 16:22:24 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Also, if I may, here are some recommendations for the rest of the note; feel free to use or discard:

"The fund transfer information you provided is correct; just in case, please see attached the completed form (xxx) and the original details provided by the bank (xxx).

Please verify the information in the form is correct.

Additionally, please confirm via an e-mail when the funds have been posted to the account."
Selected response from:

Tevah_Trans
Local time: 19:23
Grading comment
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



Summary of answers provided
4 +4attention (and prompt response)
Tevah_Trans
4 +2(leave these words out - see my note below)
Sarah McDowell


Discussion entries: 1





  

Answers


9 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +4
attention (and prompt response)


Explanation:
Your translation is correct I think.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 50 mins (2014-08-22 16:22:24 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Also, if I may, here are some recommendations for the rest of the note; feel free to use or discard:

"The fund transfer information you provided is correct; just in case, please see attached the completed form (xxx) and the original details provided by the bank (xxx).

Please verify the information in the form is correct.

Additionally, please confirm via an e-mail when the funds have been posted to the account."

Tevah_Trans
Local time: 19:23
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish, Native in RussianRussian
PRO pts in category: 8

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  AKhram
5 mins
  -> Thanks Akram!

agree  David Knowles
18 mins
  -> Thanks David!

agree  Zoya Nayshtut
2 hrs

neutral  Sarah McDowell: I would say "attention to this matter" or leave out the part about attention completely.
3 hrs

agree  Roman Bouchev
2 days 18 hrs
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)

3 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
(leave these words out - see my note below)


Explanation:
Most English form letters would not say anything about "attention". This makes the letter sound "Russian". It's understood that if you have replied promptly then you must have paid attention to the letter. But it's not necessary to say this in reply. The translation does not have to be word for word.

I would just say this:Thank you very much for your prompt reply.

Sarah McDowell
Canada
Local time: 18:23
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 4

Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  MariyaN (X)
3 days 23 hrs
  -> Спасибо Мария!

agree  Natalia Volkova: Better late than never.
4 days
  -> Thanks but the answer has already been chosen.
Login to enter a peer comment (or grade)



Login or register (free and only takes a few minutes) to participate in this question.

You will also have access to many other tools and opportunities designed for those who have language-related jobs (or are passionate about them). Participation is free and the site has a strict confidentiality policy.

KudoZ™ translation help

The KudoZ network provides a framework for translators and others to assist each other with translations or explanations of terms and short phrases.


See also:
Term search
  • All of ProZ.com
  • Term search
  • Jobs
  • Forums
  • Multiple search