auf jedem Parkett richtig angezogen

12:07 Nov 13, 2013 

Reet - it wor twa lads frum ovver't Pennines. (and a bit further).

A Northerner applied for the job and was invited to an interview.

Interviewer: have you any tree felling experience?
Northener: Aye.
Highly skilled?: Aye.
Are you used to working fast: Aye.
Have you worked abroad?: Aye.
For how long: neigh on six month
Where?: In 't Sahara
Interviewer: But there are no trees in the Sahara!
Aye ah tell'd thee ah wor good and fast.

11:58 Nov 13, 2013 

"Blokes" indeed. You've PC'd it. A bit like the one about the "bloke" who was ironing the curtains - he fell out of the window.

21:47 Nov 12, 2013 

Do they have a branch near you?
If not, ring them, but it will have to be a trunk call (and it's not a privet number). I wouldn't hedge your bets, but I think they'll get to the root of it.

Have you twigged to it, or am I barking up the wrong tree?

Leaves almost nothing else to be said, except:

Two blokes were looking for a job. A company was looking for tree fellers, but they were only two, so they didn't bother to apply.

20:59 Nov 12, 2013 

Any more jokes like that and I'll call the copse.

20:25 Nov 12, 2013 

It's just the thicket
http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/just the ticket