the proverbial ‘hostess with the mostess’

English translation: most successful, lavish, and well-connected party-giving woman [more below]

GLOSSARY ENTRY (DERIVED FROM QUESTION BELOW)
English term or phrase:the proverbial ‘hostess with the mostess’
Selected answer:most successful, lavish, and well-connected party-giving woman [more below]
Entered by: Erzsébet Czopyk

15:49 Jun 8, 2016
English language (monolingual) [Non-PRO]
Idioms / Maxims / Sayings
English term or phrase: the proverbial ‘hostess with the mostess’
The sentence is here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_Z8_HBJcnM"My mother was also a very talented singer, actor, cook, and the proverbial ‘hostess with the mostess’."

Just a Youtube comment of Brian James:
The Sounds, Smells, and Flavors of My Lifeand

"My mother was also a very talented singer, actor, cook, and the proverbial ‘hostess with the mostess’. She thrived on entertaining, and making people happy with her food. She would lay out a feast of incredible food on Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas, that words simply fall short in describing!!!! God rest her soul, I miss her every day, but she will live eternally in my being!! I am a lot more like my mother than I realize, or maybe want to realize. I embody most of her good traits, and yes, some of the not so good!!! The same holds true for me with my father’s traits. I am definitely not the offspring of the milkman!!!!"

I would like to understand of the meaning of it fully.

My search until now:

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-origin-of-the-phrase-hoste...
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=30273
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hostess with ...
This is a groovy party and you are the hostess with the mostest.

But what is behind "the mostest"? The most of what? Great big bar and good caviar? Money? Is that definitely positive when someone calls a person (his mother) like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PLQR0kBLvU

THE HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTEST ON THE BALL
(Irving Berlin)
Ethel Merman


I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land
Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand
One day, father started digging in a field, hoping to find some soil
He dug and he dug and, what do you think?
Oil, oil, oil
The money rolled in and I rolled out
With a fortune piled so high
Washington was my destination
And now, who am I?

I'm the chosen party giver
For the White House clientele
And they know that I deliver
What it takes to make 'em gel
And in Washington I'm known by one and all
As the hostess with the mostest on the ball

They would go to Elsa Maxwell
When they had an axe to grind
They could always grind their axe well
At the parties she designed
Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call
On the hostess with the mostest on the ball

I've a great big bar and good caviar
Yes, the best that can be found
And a large amount in my bank account
When election time comes round
If you're feeling presidential
You can make it, yes indeed
There are just three things essential
Let me tell you, all you need
Is an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gall
And the hostess with the mostest on the ball

Entertaining vodka drinkers
Is a job they give to me
Making nice guys out of stinkers
Seems to be my cup of tea
What they really need behind the iron wall
Is the hostess with the mostest on the ball

There's a book of regulations
As to who sits next to who
But there might be complications
When the blue blood's not so blue
So the priestess with the leastest protocol
Is the hostess with the mostest on the ball

An ambassador has just reached the shore
He's a man of many loves
An important gent from the Orient
To be handled with kid gloves
He can come and let his hair down, ooh!
Have the best time of his life
Even bring his new affair down
Introduce her as his wife
But she mustn't leave her panties in the hall
Of the priestess with the leastest
Nor the hostess with the mostest
With the mostest on the ball
Erzsébet Czopyk
Hungary
Local time: 15:02
most successful, lavish, and well-connected party-giving woman [more below]
Explanation:
Hostess with the mostest, the. noun phrase. The most successful, lavish, and well-connected party-giving woman. [1950s+; fr a popular song fr the 1950s show Call Me Madam, ''The Hostess with the Mostest on the Ball'']

Hostess with the mostest, the | Define Hostess with the mostest, the at ...
www.dictionary.com/browse/hostess-with-the-mostest--the

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071122032157A...
'Hostess with the mostess' is based on the male version of the description, 'host with the most [looks, charm, abilities, charisma etc etc]' which is used on various television game shows etc (although I can't think of one off the top of my head!).

Because it refers to the feminine 'hostess' as opposed to the masculine 'host', the word 'most' has been altered to rhyme accordingly- in everyday english though, 'mostess' is a nonsensical word.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-origin-of-the-phrase-hoste...
It comes from The Hostess With The Mostes' On The Ball, a song in Act I of the 1950 Broadway musical Call Me Madam, originally sung on stage by Ethel Merman. Ethel Merman played Sally Adams, a rich socialite widow who gets appointed the ambassador to the fictional country of Lichtenburg. Though the authors of the play initially denied it, the Sally Adams character was based on Perle Mesta, an Oklahoma-born widow of a Pennsylvania steel millionaire who served as Ambassador to Luxemburg under Harry Truman from 1949 to 1953. Like many ambassadors even now, Mesta was a contributor to Truman's presidential campaign, but another reason she got the job as ambassador is due to her reputation for hosting some of the best parties on the Washington D.C. cocktail circuit in the 1940s.

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Note added at 40 mins (2016-06-08 16:29:59 GMT)
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Sorry, about the duplication of your links. However, your posting was not very clear. "Mostess" has been explained in other proposals too, but essentially, and technically, "mostess" is 1) non-existent (nonsense); 2) coined to rhyme with "hostess"; 3) nowadays, in the superlative form, and better than "most". I don't know what more I can say that hasn't been said by other proposers.

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Note added at 1 hr (2016-06-08 17:05:07 GMT)
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https://books.google.com.jm/books?id=27JOMobauYAC&pg=PA197&l...
Encyclopedia of Linguistics edited by Philipp Strazny
See page 197, "Every language has a stock of prefabricated phrases that have a richer cultural content, sometimes by means of their historical allussions. Such phrases are learned as complete units, rather than formed spontaneously for the moment. Thus in English, we might say, "xxx", or "Aren't you the hostess with the mostess?"

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Question2...
The OED2 lists a quotation "hostess with the mostest" under mostest, dialectal and jocular. The citation is from the Daily Herald, 25 March 1958. Generally attributed to Jimmy Durante, an American entertainer, describing a well known hostess of large party's of the time, Perle Mesta. This would have been in the 1940's. Simple explanation is that Perle Mesta hosted the best parties to which all the "A" list people aspired... hence the hostess with the mostest. Durante was well known for his "murdering" of the English language, so it's entirely possible he used "mostess" as a funny bon mot...

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Note added at 3 days20 hrs (2016-06-12 12:06:28 GMT) Post-grading
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Thank you so much.
Selected response from:

Taña Dalglish
Jamaica
Local time: 09:02
Grading comment
Tnak you very much! Tony was the first but one of your links was definitely the best.
4 KudoZ points were awarded for this answer



SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED
3 +4See discussion below
Tony M
2 +5most successful, lavish, and well-connected party-giving woman [more below]
Taña Dalglish
4 +2the very best there is
Yvonne Gallagher


Discussion entries: 13





  

Answers


6 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 3/5Answerer confidence 3/5 peer agreement (net): +4
the proverbial ‘hostess with the mostest’
See discussion below


Explanation:
It's just a nonsense saying, based on the simply rhyme, that has been re-used and referred to in other contexts since.

'hostess' is of course a lady who receives guests — in this sense, usually someone who entertains at home; I first remember hearing this expression in the '60s, but I imagine it was coined before that.

'the mostest' just refers in general terms to being the best, having the best food / table decorations / conversation, etc.

I even wonder if it wasn't originally an advertising slogan of some kind — "your dinner party won't be socially acceptable unless you have [our product]" — which might well have been a "Hostess trolley", the essential aspirational product os any self-respecting '60s hostess! That, and a serving hatch!



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Note added at 10 minutes (2016-06-08 15:59:55 GMT)
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Although it was originally a positive expression, certainly, I'd say that in more recent years it has tended sometimes to be used with a wanly ironic air, as if referring to those sad people who do the rounds of dinner-parties trying so desperately to keep up with the Joneses.

A good example might be Hyacinth Bucket in the UK TV comedy series "Keeping up Appearances", who seeks desperately — and ultimately pathetically — to always be the "hostess with the mostest" even in the face of her reduced circumstances.

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Note added at 14 minutes (2016-06-08 16:03:51 GMT)
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Knowing that it comes originally from the song lyrics in "Call me Madam" explains who they got away with the lame rhyme.

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Note added at 16 heures (2016-06-09 08:47:24 GMT)
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When I said "lame rhyme", I wasn't criticizing the wonderful music by the oh-so-talented Irving Berlin — which I love! I was simply referring to the way such cringeworthy rhymes are often contrived to fit the needs of a song!


Tony M
France
Local time: 15:02
Works in field
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 44
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you very much, Maestro!


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  philgoddard: You were first.
18 mins
  -> Thanks, Phil!

agree  Tina Vonhof (X)
5 hrs
  -> Thanks, Tina!

agree  acetran
1 day 1 min
  -> Thanks, Ace!

agree  Daryo: does that include having "bestest of friends"?
2 days 11 hrs
  -> Merci, Daryo ! Oh yes! Just like my little French neighbour, who used to say that something was « plus mieux »
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10 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 2/5Answerer confidence 2/5 peer agreement (net): +5
most successful, lavish, and well-connected party-giving woman [more below]


Explanation:
Hostess with the mostest, the. noun phrase. The most successful, lavish, and well-connected party-giving woman. [1950s+; fr a popular song fr the 1950s show Call Me Madam, ''The Hostess with the Mostest on the Ball'']

Hostess with the mostest, the | Define Hostess with the mostest, the at ...
www.dictionary.com/browse/hostess-with-the-mostest--the

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071122032157A...
'Hostess with the mostess' is based on the male version of the description, 'host with the most [looks, charm, abilities, charisma etc etc]' which is used on various television game shows etc (although I can't think of one off the top of my head!).

Because it refers to the feminine 'hostess' as opposed to the masculine 'host', the word 'most' has been altered to rhyme accordingly- in everyday english though, 'mostess' is a nonsensical word.

https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-origin-of-the-phrase-hoste...
It comes from The Hostess With The Mostes' On The Ball, a song in Act I of the 1950 Broadway musical Call Me Madam, originally sung on stage by Ethel Merman. Ethel Merman played Sally Adams, a rich socialite widow who gets appointed the ambassador to the fictional country of Lichtenburg. Though the authors of the play initially denied it, the Sally Adams character was based on Perle Mesta, an Oklahoma-born widow of a Pennsylvania steel millionaire who served as Ambassador to Luxemburg under Harry Truman from 1949 to 1953. Like many ambassadors even now, Mesta was a contributor to Truman's presidential campaign, but another reason she got the job as ambassador is due to her reputation for hosting some of the best parties on the Washington D.C. cocktail circuit in the 1940s.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 40 mins (2016-06-08 16:29:59 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Sorry, about the duplication of your links. However, your posting was not very clear. "Mostess" has been explained in other proposals too, but essentially, and technically, "mostess" is 1) non-existent (nonsense); 2) coined to rhyme with "hostess"; 3) nowadays, in the superlative form, and better than "most". I don't know what more I can say that hasn't been said by other proposers.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 1 hr (2016-06-08 17:05:07 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

https://books.google.com.jm/books?id=27JOMobauYAC&pg=PA197&l...
Encyclopedia of Linguistics edited by Philipp Strazny
See page 197, "Every language has a stock of prefabricated phrases that have a richer cultural content, sometimes by means of their historical allussions. Such phrases are learned as complete units, rather than formed spontaneously for the moment. Thus in English, we might say, "xxx", or "Aren't you the hostess with the mostess?"

http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Phrases-and-Sayings/Question2...
The OED2 lists a quotation "hostess with the mostest" under mostest, dialectal and jocular. The citation is from the Daily Herald, 25 March 1958. Generally attributed to Jimmy Durante, an American entertainer, describing a well known hostess of large party's of the time, Perle Mesta. This would have been in the 1940's. Simple explanation is that Perle Mesta hosted the best parties to which all the "A" list people aspired... hence the hostess with the mostest. Durante was well known for his "murdering" of the English language, so it's entirely possible he used "mostess" as a funny bon mot...

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 3 days20 hrs (2016-06-12 12:06:28 GMT) Post-grading
--------------------------------------------------

Thank you so much.

Taña Dalglish
Jamaica
Local time: 09:02
Native speaker of: English
PRO pts in category: 4
Grading comment
Tnak you very much! Tony was the first but one of your links was definitely the best.
Notes to answerer
Asker: Thank you very much. I already provided these links and did a search (and the problem was, of course, not the hostess but the ***mostess' ***


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  writeaway: was a much-used phrase in the US at one point in time. maybe it never made it across the pond. Ethel Merman was a big Broadway star and very popular. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PLQR0kBLvU
10 mins
  -> Thank you writeaway. Appreciate your input. /On the contrary, it did make it across the Pond and to the far corners of the earth, even in my tiny corner.

agree  Tony M: Oh yes, it very certainly DID make it across the Pond, I well remember it myself from the '60s, as I was tickled by the ungrammatical 'mostest'
2 hrs
  -> Thank you.

agree  Anton Konashenok: And the male equivalent appears in "My Parties" - a song by Dire Straits about precisely this kind of host
6 hrs
  -> Thank you Anton.

agree  Ashutosh Mitra
13 hrs
  -> Thank you so much Ashutosh.

agree  acetran
23 hrs
  -> Thank you acetran.
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12 mins   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +2
the very best there is


Explanation:
I don't understand what you find difficult?

Mostest" is absolutely positive and simply means the very best there is...a superlative hostess (or whatever)...exaggerated of course! And often said jokingly...

"mostest" is obviously not a grammatical superlative but it's describing even more than most, even better than best, even greater than greatest!

a bit like childish exaggeration "My daddy is the bestest daddy in the world!"

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Note added at 13 mins (2016-06-08 16:03:40 GMT)
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Oh, others have got there before me while I was pondering how to best explain this...

You should have no more doubts as to what it means!

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Note added at 46 mins (2016-06-08 16:36:26 GMT)
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The commentator is being genuine in saying his mother was a great hostess

"...She thrived on entertaining, and making people happy with her food. She would lay out a feast of incredible food on Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas, that words simply fall short in describing!..."
I don't agree that it's ironic though it can be said in a semi-sarcastic fashion sometimes but as a joke "What are ya tryin ta do? Be the hostess with the mostess?..." when someone has gone to a lot of effort. But in my experience anyway, it's said affectionately.
And I don't agree someone has to be well-connected. Yes, for the original "proverbial" hostess but not in the modern meaning of the expression

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Note added at 3 days20 hrs (2016-06-12 12:08:21 GMT) Post-grading
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Just to clarify something.When I wrote "I don't understand what you find difficult?" I didn't understand what your question was. And it seems I misunderstood the question you were asking! I thought you were asking about Brian James'comment but note I'm the only one who answered that question. So it would appear you were really asking about the "proverbial" hostess, i.e the original one upon whom the song was based even though you'd already found the answer to that one yourself
I thought this was your question:

"My mother was also ..."

"I would like to understand of the meaning of it fully."

which is why I said I had no need to look up anything to understand it and did not agree with Tony's answer because he said it was "ironic" ...which it isn't as James is being very genuine). And the other answer is all about a well-connected socialite whereas I doubt James' mother fits into that category.

So, please ask one question at a time and try to make the question as clear as possible. Taña also said "...your posting was not very clear"

The expression is used quite frequently and has nothing whatsoever to do with the proverbial hostess these days as far as I'm concerned.

I felt the need to put the record straight


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Note added at 4 days (2016-06-12 22:15:33 GMT) Post-grading
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And you've misunderstood yet again so I give up!

The expression is a colloquial English expression which IS used frequently HERE but I don't understand why you'd expect to hear it in Hungary??


Yvonne Gallagher
Ireland
Local time: 14:02
Native speaker of: Native in EnglishEnglish
PRO pts in category: 56
Notes to answerer
Asker: You don't understand what I find difficult? I asked a question and did a research and I - as I wrote in the beginning - wanted to understand its meaning in the fullest. I though - maybe this phrase is ironic or sarcastic? (please take a look at the original youtube comment) If you see my langugae pairs, yes, there is English but I am specialised in Russian. I did not feel it absolutely positive and therefore, asked for an explanation. As a linguist specialised in phraseology, for me it is very interesting. And in the beginning is was disturbing why "proverbial" ... so now I have a full picture :)

Asker: And I forgot to say: thank you very much for your time and explanation!


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Yasutomo Kanazawa: It's like saying "baddest" which means the very worst or even beyond that.
30 mins
  -> Many thanks:-) Yes, indeed!

agree  Tony M
2 hrs
  -> Many thanks:-)
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