Willem Kloos's poem "Ik ween om bloemen"

13:32 Dec 20, 2012 

I see where you're coming from — and I see from your profile your degree is in linguistics, which perhaps gives you a certain predisposition (as my degree, which was more literary, also does). It all adds to our collective insight if we discuss things! Cheers.

12:59 Dec 20, 2012 

I certainly don't read this as a rant, you are talking very friendly, which I appreciate.

You are talking about rules, about what is allowed or not allowed, about things pertaining to form.

This is not how I look at it. I look at the message, at what it conveys. And I suppose the translator from my reference who arrived at 'I’m weeping for flowers broken in the bud' did so as well.

I look upon it (maybe a personal interpretation) as something that is happening to him right at this moment, he is right in the middle of it and he is weeping right now for flowers broken in the bud.

He is telling us in what state he is in right now and what is going on inside of him and this is why I think the continuous should be used and it sounds good to me.

But if convention forbids it we should of course refrain from what's natural. :-)

Or am I just a Philistine and is more involved than just form worship. :-)

I hope at least one thing and that is that the state he is in is something that comes and goes, just like any other emotional state the average person may happen to find himself in.

10:02 Dec 20, 2012 

Thanks for the details on Kloosʼ poem, Barend, and its place in the canon of Dutch literature. We need native speakers of both languages to collaborate on KudoZ questions. I need you to tell me what allusions there are in the Dutch text of what weʼre translating, and, with respect, you need me to tell you that English verse canonically does not use the present continuous in poem titles. The grammar point that we all teach to learners of English, that if it's happening right now we use the present continuous, is a Late Modern English convention not seen in formal prose until the end of the 18th century or formal verse until the early 20th century, and still not in poem titles. This is not a matter of opinion or feeling: we have to do here with a canonical literary tradition that sets for us the parameters of how we translate for English-speaking readers in accordance with their sensibilities.

It is for the same reason that we suggested ‘weep’ for ‘cry’ — there are precious few exact synonyms in English, particularly in literature and above all in poetry, and each word has its own register/collocations.

Please donʼt read this as a rant; I appreciate your contributions a great deal!

14:25 Dec 19, 2012 

Even those who do not know much about literature still know the most famous opening verse of one of Kloos’ most popular poems: “Ik ben een God in ‘t diepst van mijn gedachten” (1964, 22) [‘I am a god in the deepest of my thoughts], if only because of the many parodies that this verse has provoked – “ik ben een zot in ’t diepst van mijn gedachten” [I am a fool in the deepest of my thoughts] (see for poems that parody the poems of Kloos: Nop Maas, 2003). In addition, another verse by Kloos has become immortal, because it is often found on the obituary cards of those who died too young: “Ik ween om bloemen, in den knop gebroken” (Kloos, 1964, 15) [I’m weeping for flowers broken in the bud].

https://lic.ned.univie.ac.at/af/node/17111

Apart from this, it is really happening now, in progress.
I think it is a personal opinion.
It cannot be a hard-and-fast rule.
It will depend on context.
Anyway, from a grammar point of view, the continuous aspect is to be used.
Most importantly perhaps, it does not sound 'banal' to me, at least not in this context.
Otherwise I would not have mentioned it. :-)

12:09 Dec 19, 2012 

11:49 Dec 19, 2012 

En vóór den uchtend van haar bloei vergaan,
Ik had er 7,50 ingestoken,
Je zou zo'n rotzak ongelukkig slaan!

(Drs. P.)

20:33 Dec 18, 2012 

Maar eer 't zijn vaakrige oogjes gans ontsluit,
Is het weer donker, en slechts droevig vloeit
Door 't sluimerend geblaarte een zwakke klacht.


paraphrasing

maar voordat de vogel ('t) zijn slaperige oogjes volledig heeft opengedaan, is het alweer donker en vloeit slechts droevig door het sluimerende gebladerte een zwakke klacht/ en uit de vogel door het sluimerende gebladerte slechts zachtjes een droevige klacht.