Question about conversing in non-native language with children
Thread poster: nohayo
Jan 29, 2010

I want to raise my kids to be multi-lingual.

In my specific situation, me and my husband speak arabic, we both speak english too BUT his accent is not good. My accent is native. I also learned a little french and german before and plan to brush up on them to be able to converse with my baby.

So, my plan is, my husband will speak arabic, and i will speak, english and french!

Would it be a mistake for me to speak 2 different languages?

I don't p
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I want to raise my kids to be multi-lingual.

In my specific situation, me and my husband speak arabic, we both speak english too BUT his accent is not good. My accent is native. I also learned a little french and german before and plan to brush up on them to be able to converse with my baby.

So, my plan is, my husband will speak arabic, and i will speak, english and french!

Would it be a mistake for me to speak 2 different languages?

I don't plan on speaking them at the same time, I plan on having a day for each language exclusively so for eg. sun is english, mon is french...etc...

what do you guys think and what is your advice on this?

Will switching each day be confusing or be ok?

Also, since I'm not native in french, I might have an accent but not too heavy... its more of an awkwardness.. would that be ok? In the future, will my kid be able to rectify this accent and/or possible grammer slips in formal instruction such as school or tuition?
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John Taylor
John Taylor  Identity Verified
United Kingdom
Local time: 06:32
German to English
+ ...
See this link for a lengthy reply to your question + literature Jan 29, 2010

http://linguistlist.org/ask-ling/biling.html

 
Tom Tyson
Tom Tyson  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:32
Member
German to English
One parent, one language Jan 29, 2010

I wouldn't attempt what you propose. I think this might have serious consequences - I'm no expert other than from my own experience and anecdotal evidence from other parents, oh yes, and a bit of a linguistics background - but what you're suggesting goes against all my instincts. Your child will relate to you through your language (even before it's born it can hear your voice) and surely to switch from day to day will be emotionally destabilising and also really confuse the language acquisition ... See more
I wouldn't attempt what you propose. I think this might have serious consequences - I'm no expert other than from my own experience and anecdotal evidence from other parents, oh yes, and a bit of a linguistics background - but what you're suggesting goes against all my instincts. Your child will relate to you through your language (even before it's born it can hear your voice) and surely to switch from day to day will be emotionally destabilising and also really confuse the language acquisition process. It also sounds as if you're maybe not all that proficient in French. Raise your child bilingually if English is your native language. Otherwise, don't mess with nature. When your child is born you'll know what language to speak to it in.

[Edited at 2010-01-29 20:15 GMT]
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Emma Goldsmith
Emma Goldsmith  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 07:32
Member (2004)
Spanish to English
stick to one native language Jan 29, 2010

Being bilingual/trilingual would obviously be a great advantage for your children, but your idea of Sunday English, Monday French doesn't sound natural to me.
Children can and do grow up switching without thinking from one language to another depending who they are talking to, but I don't think you can impose a "depending which day it is" rule. They will naturally choose the language that comes easiest with you. Insisting on a certain language may not make sense when they're small and may
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Being bilingual/trilingual would obviously be a great advantage for your children, but your idea of Sunday English, Monday French doesn't sound natural to me.
Children can and do grow up switching without thinking from one language to another depending who they are talking to, but I don't think you can impose a "depending which day it is" rule. They will naturally choose the language that comes easiest with you. Insisting on a certain language may not make sense when they're small and may become very stressful.

My personal experience - for what it's worth - is marrying a non-English speaking Spaniard. So life before children was entirely Spanish-speaking. But our children (now 14 and 12) always talk to me in English and their father in Spanish. It's very comfortable for them and they are totally bilingual.

I just felt that, apart from being able to give them that advantage in life, it wouldn't be wise for me to speak to them in Spanish as I know I do trip up in grammar sometimes, and despite living here in Spain for 20 years, I know I don't sound Spanish.

Of course we speak Spanish only at mealtimes and for "important" family discussions, but otherwise the children need to hear natural, native language.

For your children, English and Arabic will be a great advantage, and you will really be able to support their learning of French when that time comes.

My two cents...
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Brian Young
Brian Young  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 22:32
Danish to English
Two languages Jan 29, 2010

I read the very interesting article referenced by John Taylor. Based on that, I would agree that you do only the English, and your husband only the Arabic.
My own experience is this, and it is also the reason that I think you should go ahead with your plan, limited to two languages.
I raised four children in Denmark. My wife is Danish, I am American. We spoke only Danish in the home. That was a mistake, as my wife is fluent in English, and we could have done what you are proposing.
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I read the very interesting article referenced by John Taylor. Based on that, I would agree that you do only the English, and your husband only the Arabic.
My own experience is this, and it is also the reason that I think you should go ahead with your plan, limited to two languages.
I raised four children in Denmark. My wife is Danish, I am American. We spoke only Danish in the home. That was a mistake, as my wife is fluent in English, and we could have done what you are proposing. My youngest daughter was eight when she heard me speak English for the first time. That was in a long distance call from my family. She kind of freaked out, and it was as if I had suddenly become some kind of scarry foreigner. Well, she did get over it.
We moved to the US when the kids ranged from 8 to 16 in age. The oldest and youngest were the fastest to pick up English. The oldest because she had received some English lessons in school. The youngest just because it seemed so natural for her to learn a new language. We lived in Vermont, and by the end of the first six months she spoke English with a pronounced New England accent, while the others never developed any real American accent. Later we moved to New Mexico, and within a few months the youngest sounded like a Chicano. It is amazing how young people can pick up not only the basic language, but also the local accent. That ability does not last very long. Take advantage of it while you can.

[Edited at 2010-01-29 21:42 GMT]

[Edited at 2010-01-29 21:43 GMT]
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Berni Armstrong
Berni Armstrong  Identity Verified
Spain
Local time: 07:32
Member
English
+ ...
OPOL Jan 30, 2010

The combined wisdom of most of the people on the Bilingual Families Mailing List, (of which I was a member when my daughter was in the planning stages ) was that the most efficient way children learned a language was by associating that language with one parent (or guardian). Hence the "norm" is OPOL (One Parent One Language).

However, if you wish to introduce a third language then either get a native nanny who provide
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The combined wisdom of most of the people on the Bilingual Families Mailing List, (of which I was a member when my daughter was in the planning stages ) was that the most efficient way children learned a language was by associating that language with one parent (or guardian). Hence the "norm" is OPOL (One Parent One Language).

However, if you wish to introduce a third language then either get a native nanny who provides that input on a regular basis, or else (the most efficient method in my experience) have the parents speak their respective native tongues to the child and move to a country where the language of the streets, schools, TV etc is a third language.
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George Hopkins
George Hopkins
Local time: 07:32
Swedish to English
Mother tongue Jan 30, 2010

Could there be closer agreement?
Each parent sticking to his or her first language. That's the ticket.


 
juvera
juvera  Identity Verified
Local time: 06:32
English to Hungarian
+ ...
Don't worry Jan 30, 2010

The OPOL system is sound, and practical.
Moreover, bringing them up bilingual, particularly in linguistically unrelated languages prepares them to think in two languages and predispose them to absorb other languages easier later on.

It will be an excellent basis to add other languages and become multilingual. When they established their main languages, they can start learning French or some other language, with your or preferably someone else's help.

Besides, t
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The OPOL system is sound, and practical.
Moreover, bringing them up bilingual, particularly in linguistically unrelated languages prepares them to think in two languages and predispose them to absorb other languages easier later on.

It will be an excellent basis to add other languages and become multilingual. When they established their main languages, they can start learning French or some other language, with your or preferably someone else's help.

Besides, their main talent may not be linguistic, and although I agree that languages are very important, more the better, they may possess some other natural talent which will be more significant for them in the future.

A happy person is the one who does what he/she can do best, what comes naturally, requires less effort to be better at it than others, and consequently usually likes doing it more than anything else.

You will see how it works out, watch them and help them to develop their natural talent besides languages, and if it is languages, so much the better.
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S P Willcock (X)
S P Willcock (X)  Identity Verified
Local time: 08:32
German to English
+ ...
OPOL Jan 30, 2010

just to add my voice to the consensus on using only one language per parent. the mere fact of growing up bilingually will dispose your child to a greater language learning ability later on, so that when he or she reaches French lessons in school, it will come much easier - and that will be the time to add in French at home as well.

this is how we're doing it with our boy. English and Romanian for now, German can come later, as circumstances allow.


 
Brian Young
Brian Young  Identity Verified
United States
Local time: 22:32
Danish to English
a cautionary tale about sticking to your plan Jan 30, 2010

I agree with the last three comments, in particular Berni's comment about your kids learning a third language.
I mentioned above that we moved four kids to the US, without having spoken English to them. That was in 1982, so I have had time to look back on another mistake.
We were already feeling like scoundrels for putting three teenagers through this language ordeal, so we made the mistake of doing a crash conversion to English only, and all the time. The result has been that our k
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I agree with the last three comments, in particular Berni's comment about your kids learning a third language.
I mentioned above that we moved four kids to the US, without having spoken English to them. That was in 1982, so I have had time to look back on another mistake.
We were already feeling like scoundrels for putting three teenagers through this language ordeal, so we made the mistake of doing a crash conversion to English only, and all the time. The result has been that our kids now speak only English. The older ones have retained some minimal understanding of Danish, the youngest one has lost it all.
So, if you start your kids off with two languages, the OPOL system as described above, then don't let anything get in your way. If you move to another country, just keep it up. If it is a country with a third language, the kids will learn it, if they are young enough, with or without your help.
What a great gift to give your kids, if they can grow up speaking fluently and without "accent" in two major languages.
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Question about conversing in non-native language with children






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